It's good that you recognized your limitations so now you can deal with it. Here's the main issue at hand; I was already experiencing panic attacks from 9 in the morning, and at 2 PM, I sent him a message asking him if he wants to break up. Are you able to be the best parent and spouse you can be? I was taking my meds but they were the wrong ones. This sub is a place that people can come for advice or just to vent so that we do not affect our significant others with our emotions. I think she'll be fine, I suppose. I think the best you can do for yourself is to leave. The last month has been the worst. (And if you don't mind answering, after leaving how did you handle visitation/custody?). I didn’t think it was either but I had previously agreed to help him so I said of course and got him some appointments. For us, the diagnosis was a surprise two years ago. But he’s making tons of plans for the future and stuff... which I know recognize may have been part of his mania. I was becoming paranoid he didn't love me anymore. But the steep climbs (mania) and sudden plunges (depression) of bipolar disorder can lead to life-threatening situations.. Shirley Rogerson thought her husband … And well.... a few hours later I realized I screwed up and that I DIDN'T want him to go. Was stupid of me to agree to go to his house, because I barely knew him, but it was ultimately one of the most elucidating experiences of my life. Knowing that all of us will likely be struggling with this for the rest of our lives is a tough pill to swallow. Freeman says, “There are two concrete techniques for credit management that I follow myself and teach my readers. Also it seems you don't love her really anymore. What I’m getting at here is, I’m over my head. Reading through the Reddit threads and the internet’s bipolar forums about the experience of hypersexuality – it sounds like a sexual – and emotional – carnival. Been a while. I love her because I have to love her, but she doesn't bring me joy. We've been together 15 years, and he'd always been on an SSRI. With kids you're pretty much fucked. I love her like a handicapped child that on some level I despise. Bipolar disorder 1 has hypomania and full blown mania. Like she'd know the difference. Well he did end up talking about us- probably more than he should have for a session specifically geared toward just him and his issues... and now he’s pretty much back in the blame everyone on (me) train. Each individual brings his or her own unique stamp to the clinical picture. It culminated when I suffered a terrible mental breakdown at around midnight. He was only on them for about 1.5 years. Even when she is on the meds, it is practically unbearable. I'm scared that boyfriend is becoming rather distant lately. A Treatment Contract with my spouse. Tonight I deleted her from everything. Cookies help us deliver our Services. It’s my fault he has to do this. I put this as advice needed but it’s kind of a vent. I know it will happen over and over and over. When I started documenting my days and tracking my moods and so on, I got new meds and am getting back on track. . Is this just how it is? When she is manic, I know to let things slide. I feel the OP's struggles. Mad? It's come down to an ultimatum with that baseline, get help or get out. He has certain triggers, during his mania, that end up making him seem psychotic. Given my intense separation anxiety (something to do with my childhood), it sent me into a full-fledged anxiety attack and I just lost it. I hate how she is in this never ending cycle of complaining, making big plans, failing to follow through, raging at us for whatever (unclean house, disobedience, etc.) Without being willing to bring him in, it is exponentially harder for the significant other. Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unexpected and often dramatic shifts in mood. and then calming down like nothing happened. The thing that gets to me is that no matter how many times I go through the roller coaster, I can't ever get used to it. They can't hold down a steady job, and their relationships with friends and family are destructive at best. In fact, she was pretty normal until we hit a critical mass of kids, and the stress triggered her condition. I'm really terrified and depressed. What does it mean if your partner is bipolar? I don't have to walk on eggshells anymore. I decided after many years of tolerating my sister's behavior that I'd had it. But I don't want to say that with kids you're fucked. Hello, I’m Mailia, a wife, a mother of four and a nurse. I just want to hear from people also suffering, you guys have first hand experience. All loving relationships take work and being with someone [who lives with] bipolar is no different,” adds Glo, from bphope.com. She is on meds and stable, and I've seen it all pretty much at this time. I am not serene enough to float through all this calmly so that I can provide a bedrock for my children. When she is manic, I know to let things slide. Hi Reddit. I'm a bipolar 2 mother of toddler twins. I swore I wouldn't give my kids a broken home, but this whole situation left me blindsided. ... As the significant other, husband, wife, daughter, brother or wife you need to work diligently to maintain your health during this period of illness. I have a kid with my ex, so I stuck around longer than I would have otherwise, but ultimately I, and the kid are much better off not having to live in that environment anymore. It was terrible. Is it today, tomorrow, next week, in 10 minutes? I need some advice. Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. Despite that, I fucking hate it. After we left, about a day went by and he emailed me to apologize. Thank you for sharing. He had his first therapy appointment and it did not go well. Did you ever act like that? No more second-guessing every interaction. For most of his life, my bipolar husband had streaks of positive motivation between the periods of depression. Be a part of something that cares about who you are. My wife and mother were bipolar and they had other issues as well. I assume this is a depressive episode? What is the fucking point? Wait why did she die?? Being in a relationship where one or both partners have bipolar disorder is not easy. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Because I'm pretty sure I have pushed him to this point before. His father and brother left the house to get food after a short conversation with me (he was banging on his church organ during) and then the second they left and I had the gall to say something like “Your dad doesn’t seem all that bad.” (He isn’t) he almost stormed at me with fury, shouting how his father is a Freemason and other delusions. I will second /u/Ghabergha in that the only thing that ever made it better, was the decision to leave. I also felt like he's bound to leave me anyways one day-- I really feel like I'm difficult to love, and so I thought it's probably best if I ask him to leave now, so it's at least in a situation under my control. I love my kids, but if I could go back in time and undo them, I probably would. Best of luck. I'm scared if he's actually leaving me now. He knew then that something was wrong with him, and was admitted to a psychiatric ward. Please note that this Discord group is not moderated by the mods of this subreddit. Someone not that long ago mentioned to me how hard it must be now that I'm a single parent. He has cheated 5 times now. No more lies. I want to build him up, and help him reach stability. But it does make the decision to leave/stay harder. You seem like you're clued in to your bipolar and have brought your fiance on as an ally. The waiting for the bomb to drop part. Reddit is chock full of people who have self-diagnosed any number of mental issues. I live most of my life dreading this shit bomb dropping at the worst time, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I've been living with a bipolar spouse for many years now. There are a couple of already popular bipolar subs but having a specific sub just for relationships is important in order to facilitate a community of support. I felt like my defense mechanisms kicked in the second I felt like he was going to leave me like the others have done, and considering I've always been incredibly sensitive to neglect and rejection, it's like my brain entered extreme panic mode. Because like you said, things were always in chaos with the ex around and I was doing pretty much everything myself anyway. The treatment of bipolar disorder is difficult by itself, but when coupled with OCD or other conditions, such as substance abuse, it becomes extremely difficult. It's utterly exhausting. I went through the same thing and came to the same conclusions. Frankly, does love even matter in this equation? We had a fight this morning via text because I over reacted to something. I have seen him psychotic once before, but that was different from this. When my wife is down, she often laments about how she is an unfit parent and how she has passed crazy genes down to our kids, so I think at least those fears of yours are well founded. The medication or...? Living with a husband or wife who has bipolar disorder can be difficult. It’s almost like he’s not aware of himself and his thoughts. I am not the right person to handle this kind of spouse. Our therapist had mentioned spiraling with mania/depression and I’m wondering if that could be what’s going on and how long THESE episodes usually take? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. So, yeah. My husband is not diagnosed but has an appointment soon and family history plus therapists have mentioned it... and he checks every box. One person who has, and is willing to share her experiences on her website, Bipolar-lives.com, is Sarah Freeman. 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